Narthal Xynex 67

Narthal_Xynex_67 calling. Come in, Stephenville, Texas.

People of Stephenville: What you thought you saw in your skies last week was not, repeat: NOT what you think you saw. Your own armed forces have assured you that what you saw was an earth-based flying vessel designed to move human cargo and not, repeat: NOT a flying saucer, UFO or inter-galaxy police patrol of any kind. Please accept their story as the truth.

The fact that at the time of the "sighting," your NASA Messenger probe was making Earth's first visual recordings of the dark side of the solar system's first planet, Mercury, has absolutely nothing to do with an imagined spacecraft supposedly being seen above NASA's home state, a state known to be plagued by swamp gas and methane clouds caused by cattle.

I can assure you, the public was in no danger. You may continue to live your little lives. That is all.